I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
