it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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