put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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