Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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