She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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