Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
