he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
