sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
