he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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