My friends, they love my intelligence
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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