I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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