maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
