You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
