wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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