whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We named our party play list daddy issues
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
