Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
