Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
