My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
