omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
