the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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