You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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