No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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