dude i'm inner monologue high
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
ok first of all what the fuck
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
