Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
