i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
