And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
