Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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