he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
