new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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