I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
