I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
