gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
