I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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