Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
