I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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