office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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