we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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