i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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