i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
