Plan B is the new Plan A
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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