I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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