I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My bed smells like the plague
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
