I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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