Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
