turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
