I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
