dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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