at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
