Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
