walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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