Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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