I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
