remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Why can't burritos get me drunk
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
