I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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